


Embers

by bitboozy



Series: Start a Fire [3]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Post-Series 2, Romance, Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21926707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: Five months since their last meeting, Ellie runs into Alec at the pub in Broadchurch and invites him to the office Christmas party.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Start a Fire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567420
Comments: 80
Kudos: 246





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to "Fire Without a Spark" and "Dancing in the Dark," set about six or so months after the end of series two.
> 
> Wasn't sure there would be one, but Christmas got the ole wheels turning! And most of this was written in an airport. Happy holidays, am I right? Thanks for reading.

It’s been five months since he’s seen her.

Not since the day she told him _let me go_ ,

_Come by some time,_

And,

 _Don’t forget to eat_.

They’ve exchanged the occasional text. He asks her about her mother’s condition. She asks about the new job. Once in a good while she sends a picture of Fred. Tom won’t let her take pictures of him anymore.

Alec takes himself to Broadchurch once a month. It’s a terrible habit, destructive, doomed. He walks around, up and down the pier, around the high street, on the off-chance that he’ll run into her. He has no idea what he would do if he _did_ , of course, but that doesn’t keep him from doing it.

But he never sees her.

After four months, she texts him that her mother has passed. She uses the word _finally_ and he knows exactly how she means it. He aches to go to her, but she doesn’t ask, so he doesn’t offer. The line between _let me go_ and _come by some time_ has never really become clear to him, much as he hoped it someday would. The best conclusion he can draw from it is to leave the ball in her court.

So he’s thrown himself into his work and repairing his relationship with Daisy. And once a month, he goes to Broadchurch.

This trip, he finds himself at the pub at the end of the day. It’s December 20th and he’s facing down a holiday by himself. He has every right to drink about it, or so he keeps telling himself.

The moment after he gives up on seeing her is the moment she walks through the door.

She’s alone, wearing a long grey pea coat tied at the front. She looks around, probably sussing out the most secluded spot, but then her eyes land on him. Her mouth opens a little in surprise, but her eyes light up and her lips curl into a smile as she slowly walks toward him.

He nearly falls off his stool at the bar. Whatever his face is doing must be horrifying, some crooked smile, shocked and overwhelmed, closer to a goofy grin.

“ _Hey_ there, stranger,” she says, approaching him.

He’s not sure whether to hug her, kiss her cheek, shake her hand?

He clears his throat and manages to croak out a, “Fancy seein’ you here."

Then she does the work for him and gives him a chaste peck on the cheek.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, if you can believe it,” Ellie says with a short laugh.

He stands to help her with her coat, then goes to hang it on the rack by the door. It’s only on his way back to her that he properly processes what was underneath it. She’s wearing a red dress, the red fabric entirely covered by black lace. Three-quarter length sleeves, a respectable knee-length but a _serious_ plunging neckline. She’s added a green belt, and he forces his eyes to be drawn there.

“Thought I’d make it a bit festive,” she says, fingering the belt and chuckling as her cheeks blush. She sits down on the stool next to him, then says, “Oh! And there’s this.” She reaches for the purse she’s slung onto her chair and pulls out a Reindeer Ear headband and puts it on. She finishes it off by sticking on a red nose and grinning.

Alec blinks at her. Still entirely overwhelmed by her presence and now suddenly overwhelmed by his own expansive love for her. She laughs again, embarrassed, and it only endears her to him more.

“Silly but it makes Fred giggle,” Ellie tells him. “And oh, you should hear that little boy giggle now. I’ll do absolutely anything to make him laugh, I’m hopeless for him.”

He knows the feeling.

Sam the bartender approaches. “All right, El?”

 _Of course_ she knows the bartender. This town never ceases to astound him, though it shouldn't. He tunes out a vague exchange about kids and then hears her order a vodka tonic. 

“Right then, what on earth are you _doing_ here?” Ellie questions, turning back to him.

“Would you believe Christmas shoppin’?”

“No.”

He decides the change the subject. “Might ask you the same question, by the way. Lookin’ like that.”

“Oh.” She blushes again and looks down at herself. “Office Christmas do. Thought I’d stop in for a little liquid courage first.”

Sam slides her a vodka tonic and she thanks him. Then she goes to take a sip and realizes she’s still got the red nose on. She pulls it off, and the reindeer ears, then tries again.

“Boys are good?” He asks, tentatively glancing up from his pint.

She nods. “Good, yeah, all right. Tom is hanging in there, I’m consistently in awe of him. And Fred is…well, he’s huge. Two and a half now, and won’t let you forget it. _Two half_ , he says. He’s _two half_ ,” she says with a grin. “He doesn’t really know what it means but I think he understands it gets him a _little_ more street cred.”

“Which I understand is very important in the toddler industry.”

She just smiles at him and nods. “How’s Daisy?”

“She’s good. I mean, she’s all right, we’re doin’ all right.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she says genuinely, laying a hand on his wrist.

His gaze falls on her hand, then makes a direct leap to her cleavage. Then he shakes out of it.

“Uh, how are – _you,_ how – what with your…mum and all?” He asks, clearing his throat.

She shrugs, tipping her head from side to side. “Uh, you know. It’s…I don’t know, it’s all right actually. After the stroke, she had hardly any of herself left. I think it was harder to watch her like that than it’s been to actually grieve her,” she tells him. Then directly meets his gaze. “I’m sorry I haven’t…been in touch more, I just – “

“No, it’s all right. It’s all right.” He pats the hand that is still laying atop his wrist.

“Suspect maybe it was better that way though?” She takes a sip. “Easier.”

“…I s’pose.” He does not, in fact, suppose. But it’s what she needs to hear, what she needs to believe.

Ellie pulls her hand back and takes a long sip from her glass. Then stares at it. “…I’m afraid I haven’t very much time.” She turns her head to look at him. “I’m expected.”

“Ah, right.”

She offers him a sheepish smile. “Life of the party, me.” She puts her reindeer headband back on.

He can’t help smiling back at her and he can see how much his smiling intrigues her. Being such a rarity and all.

“I wish I’d known earlier that you were in town,” she says. “You never did say what brought you here.”

“Not important.” He waves it off and takes a sip of his pint.

She extends a shapely leg to the floor and slides off the bar stool. “Do you, um…” She smiles a him a bit coyly. “You wouldn’t want to come along, would you?”

His eyes widen. “To a Christmas do?”

“Yeah, just everyone from the station. You’ll see a few familiar faces,” she tells him. “And it’s open bar…”

“I --- yeah, I don’t know, Ellie.”

“Aw, come on, Hardy.” She tugs at his sleeve. “Would give us a bit more time together.”

“Uh.” Frankly, it’s the perfect argument. He wonders if it might be nicer to be in love with someone who _doesn’t_ know him so well. “…Yeah, all right.”

She clasps her hands together gleefully. “Oh good!”

He sighs like he’s just signed his own death warrant.

“It’ll be fun, I swear it.” She squeezes his arm.

He nods solemnly, then goes to get her coat and helps her on with it. She quickly finishes her drink while he puts on his own coat, then leaves enough cash on the bar for both their drinks. She doesn’t question it, which turns out to be devastating because it gives him the distinct feeling of them being _together_. But then he turns to her, and she’s standing there in her pea coat with her reindeer ears on, waiting for him with a smile. A genuine smile, a true _happy you’re here_ smile. And he wants to rip his heart out of his body and give it to her right there. Such as it is.

As they approach the restaurant, a quick walk from the pub, Alec begins to feel a mild sense of trepidation. It’s been nearly a year since he worked there properly, and truth be told he wasn’t even there very long. But he was apparently there long enough to make a bad impression. And to show up after all this time, with Ellie…

She seems to be thinking the same thing. She stops a few feet away from the restaurant.

“Don’t care what they think, you know,” she says, looking up at him with that stubborn expression of hers he knows so well. “Bollocks to the lot of ‘em. We’re just here to have a bit of fun, yeah?”

Their arms dangle limply between them, and both of them seem to be contemplating grabbing the other’s hand. Then Ellie shoves her hands in her coat pockets and starts walking again.

There’s an eruption of excitement when Ellie walks through the door. Her co-workers have clearly started without her. But then Alec comes up just behind her, clearly with her, and their reactions seem to mute.

There’s a brief silence that feels much longer than it is, then Ellie throws her hands up and exclaims, “Somebody point me to the bar!”

The party seems to resume though the tone has clearly shifted and there is much whispering and buzzing as Alec and Ellie head to the bar. She is waylaid though, literally yanked into a conversation with a couple of female uniformed officers who are not, tonight, in uniform. He continues to the bar. He orders himself a scotch and a vodka tonic for her.

When he comes up behind her, she turns into him and accepts the drink. “Oh, you’re a lifesaver.” Then continues her conversation.

And again, it feels like they’re together.

She tries to include him in the conversation, absently touching his arm and glancing over at him now and then, but he finds himself wandering away soon after. He becomes a wallflower, sipping his scotch and watching her flit from group to group like a butterfly, clearly in her element. She seems, for the first time really since he’s known her, _happy_. The sight of it is riveting and he can’t take his eyes off her. To be fair, the dress doesn’t help matters.

After a while, she joins him at the wall, sipping what he must assume is her second drink.

“So far not delivering on all the fun I promised you, am I?” She stands beside him, arm to arm, looking out at the crowd she’s just walked out of.

“Some fascinatin' case studies,” he replies with a shrug.

“Dirty Brian’s back on the prowl apparently,” she informs him, taking a sip. “Must keep my wits about me.”

Alec wonders for the first time if she’s slept with anyone since last he saw her. She was quite keen on casual sex, the one thing he could not seem to give her with any kind of ease.

“You’re both free,” Alec says, tentatively, testing the waters. “For once.”

Yes, he remembers when Brian asked her out. And yes, he knows that she asked _him_ out during Joe’s trial.

“Not so desperate these days,” she replies nonchalantly.

He has no idea what that means.

He is _frantic_ now to know what that means.

There’s a DJ setting up in the corner. Alec can only pray this means the party is winding down and another party has booked the space. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice that she’s been looking up at him curiously with those big brown eyes of hers, straw in her mouth. He flinches a bit.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

His immediate reaction is a loud scoff, a widening of the eyes and a shaking of the head. Her expression in return is one of thorough bemusement.

“Is that a no,” she says, and it’s not quite a question the way she poses it.

“No.”

Suddenly her motive becomes clear to him. He can tell from the look on her face that she knew the answer already, and she’s only asked him so that he would have an opening to ask her the same.

“…Are you?” He shifts his glass from one hand to the other uncomfortably.

“No.”

“Hm.” He nods slowly, looking down into his glass. “Have you….um.” He’s going to regret saying even those three vague, jumbled words and he knows it.

She blinks once, then, without looking away, replies, “Yes.”

“Ah.” He throws back a good bit of his scotch.

“Just a bit of fun here and there,” Ellie explans, studying him. “I meant what I said. About only wanting - ”

“It’s all right,” he replies. “Don’t have to explain yourself.”

She glances around the room and there’s quiet for a moment. “Do you put yourself out there?”

“No,” Alec says firmly, eyes on her though she’s not looking at him. “And I won’t.”

She turns. “Why?”

“Because one day you’ll be ready.”

Dirty Brian approaches, holding a pint and what looks like a vodka tonic. “Brought you a refill.” He hands Ellie the glass and takes her near-empty one.

“Oh.” She raises it at him. “Cheers.”

He raises his back. “Cheers to you.”

The room is suddenly filled with Christmas music, courtesy of the DJ in the corner. Alec sighs, his fears confirmed.

Brian turns to him. “How’s it with you then, Hardy? Worst cop in Bournemouth?” He takes a drink. “Surprised to see you here if I’m being honest.”

Alec stares him down. “DS Miller is very persuasive.”

“Yeah, no doubt, no doubt.” Brian glances around. People are starting to gather in the center of the space. “Fancy a dance, El?”

“Um.”

“Come on then.” He drags her out to the dance floor. She looks back at Alec helplessly.

As Ellie disappears into the crowd of dancers, he is approached by DCS Jenkinson.

“Hardy,” she greets him, with a mild purr. She’s had one or two, it seems. “Imagine seeing you here.”

“Don’t have to imagine, ma’am,” Alec replies politely. “Good to see you.”

“Good seeing _you_. You’re in Bournemouth now?”

“I am.”

She nods. “And how’s your health?”

“Much improved. Thanks for askin’.”

They stand against the wall together, watching Broadchurch’s finest embarrass themselves on the dance floor.

“Thought I saw you come in with DS Miller,” Jenkinson says, with a furtive glance in his direction. “Is that – “

“Ran into each other at the pub. Invited me along,” he answers. “That’s all.”

She nods and sips her drink.

“I met the new DI,” Alec says, turning to her.

Jenkinson raises an eyebrow. “And?”

“Should be Miller. You know it should be Miller.”

Jenkinson looks away again. “She wasn’t _here_ , Hardy, the position was filled when she was in Devon.”

His eyes drift to Ellie and Brian. They’re slow dancing. She keeps him at a respectable distance, but it’s still far too close for his own comfort. Jenkinson’s gaze follows his until it lands on Brian and Ellie as well. Then she looks up at Alec.

“Playing with fire there,” Jenkinson says, then saunters away without another word on the subject.

He’s momentarily startled, but when he looks back at Ellie, she’s looking at him, pulling a cringey face. He decides to do the only decent thing he can think of.

He puts his drink down and steps onto the dance floor, wading through the sea of inebriated off-duty coppers, swallowing down his apprehension with some difficulty. He brings a hand to Ellie’s half-bare back, stilling their movement.

“Mind if I cut in?”

Brian appears thoroughly insulted. “Actually – “

But before he can finish, Ellie quickly says, “Mustn’t be selfish, Brian,” and separates herself from him.

She drifts over to Alec in a way that feels graceful and natural, moving into his personal space like she belongs there. Brian dejectedly shuffles away.

“How can I ever repay you?” Ellie asks.

He moves his hand to the small of her back, and with the other takes _her_ hand. He holds it to his chest as they start to slowly find the rhythm of the music. For a second, Ellie appears at a loss for what to do with her other hand. Each possible spot for it seems to denote a different level of intimacy. She settles for resting it on his shoulder.

“You can dance,” she observes with some surprise, smiling up at him.

“I can move slowly with a beautiful woman in my arms,” Alec replies. “Wouldn’t say I can dance.”

Neither one of them knows where to look. It seems dangerous to look directly into the other’s eyes and awkward to look away. Gradually, they become intuitively aware of all the eyes on them. The room is abuzz with whispers again. Ellie goes a bit red.

“Just look at _me_ ,” Alec says, unexpectedly decisive. “Don’t worry about them.”

She nods, eyelashes fluttering a bit nervously as she focuses her gaze on him and she seems to relax. He unconsciously pulls her closer, until they are almost touching.

“Have to tell you I’m impressed,” he tells her quietly. “You juggle all of this so well.”

She shakes her head dismissively. “The vodka helps. And I’ve always been rather at ease in a crowd. Easy to get lost.”

“Not now, it seems.” All eyes are on them.

“No. Not now.”

He leans his head down a bit to whisper in her ear, “Better than Dirty Brian at least?”

He feels her shiver. When he pulls back, she’s grinning at him. “Yes.” Her hand glides from his shoulder to the nape of his neck. “You may not be much, but you’re better than Dirty Brian.”

He smiles back. In holding onto his neck, she’s pulled herself even closer, and now their bodies are flush together. The feeling of her breasts against his chest has him breathing a bit heavier now, and his hand on her back slides down just a smidge to her tailbone.

“All right?” He asks, almost inaudibly.

She lets go of his hand briefly so she can weave their fingers together. He has his answer.

God, he wants to kiss her. Maybe more than he’s ever wanted to kiss her. And still with those stupid reindeer ears. But he can feel at least fifty pairs of eyes on them. He knows she would never forgive him.

Then she lays her head on his shoulder and suddenly it’s like all the air has left the room. Every one of its occupants has stopped breathing. He responds by holding her tighter, the hand at her back grasping at the fabric of her dress.

All too quickly the song ends. When they reluctantly separate, she’s smiling at him. She doesn’t look nervous or embarrassed or uncertain or, his worst fear, regretful. She’s just smiling.

“Gonna pop to the loo.”

He exhales for what feels like the first time in five minutes. “Right.” And then he watches her walk across the room, as everyone else tries to appear casual and indifferent.

Alec winds back through the crowd to reclaim his place by the wall, finding his drink again. Once she returns from the loo, she’s pulled in several different directions for a while. She smiles and laugh through endless small talk, and now and then she steals a glance at him.

A few people approach him as well, former subordinates, and some higher-ups. They ask after his health, his new job, and he gives them all the same bland answers. It’s nearly an hour later that the party begins to wind down. Ellie finds Alec at the bar, returning his empty glass. She says nothing, but slowly her hand comes up and she pops the red nose back on with a mischievous smile and he laughs.

“Let me drive you home,” he says.

“Dunno. You’ve had as much as I’ve had.”

“I’m _Scottish_ , Ellie. I could drink you under the table.”

She links her arm through his. “Have to test that theory one day.”

They find their coats and step out into the cold. She links their arms again as they walk down the high street.

“Not an _awful_ party, was it?” She asks, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.

“Not awful, no.” Then he smirks and says, “Looks like you’ve turned into Broadchurch Police’s most eligible bachelorette.”

“Ha! Only when they’re all a bit pissed.”

Up ahead, they are nearing the Trader’s Hotel and they both seem to notice this keenly. Alec hadn’t planned on being in Broadchurch anywhere near this late. He’d had every intention of simply driving home at the end of the day. But it’s nearing midnight now. As the hotel entrance draws nearer, they _both_ seem to slow their pace. Ellie glances at up him furtively, and he down at her, then they both look away quickly. Then it’s Ellie who stops them next to the door. They turn to face each other. She looks up at him with that ridiculous red nose. Unable to stop himself, he places a hand at her waist and uses the other to remove the nose. He drops it in his coat pocket as he leans down. She tilts her head up toward him and he waits until she closes her eyes, waits until he’s sure she’s sure, to kiss her.

He captures her bottom lip, and she takes it from there. Her arms slide up around his neck and she opens her mouth to him and then he’s devouring her unabashedly. It’s messy and needy and…utterly joyful. In the frenzy, her reindeer headband falls off her head and neither of them notices. At the same time, they both pull back to breathe and she’s grinning again. She seems carefree and simply _happy_.

She purses her lips and runs her tongue over them. “Do you want to, um…”

“ _Can_ you – “

“Dad’s with the boys. He stays over when it’s a late night. So.”

“Ah, so – “

“Only if you – “

“Ellie.”

“I just mean – “

He pulls her in for another kiss, deep and languid, unequivocal in its intention. She reaches up to touch his cheek, running her fingers over his beard. He kisses her cheek, her jaw, behind her earlobe in quick succession. She grabs onto his hand. Then she picks her reindeer ears up off the ground.

“Come on then.”

She tugs on his hand and he follows her eagerly into the hotel.

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your enthusiasm! I find it very heartening and encouraging, and I appreciate it sincerely.

Inside the Trader’s, Becca appears to be signing off, leaving the night manager in charge. Alec and Ellie silently curse themselves for not waiting a few more minutes. But there’s no point in trying to hide it now.

Becca eyes them in delighted astonishment as they approach the desk, still hand in hand. Alec confidently announces he’d like a room for the night, and the night manager goes about her business setting it up while Becca just smiles at them like a cat. Ellie is matching her obstinately and it’s like they’re in some strange Cheshire cat standoff as the transaction is processed.

Becca does the honors of handing over the room key to Alec and says, with a smarmy expression, “Happy Christmas, you two.”

Ellie smirks back at her, linking her arm through Alec’s. “A _very_ happy Christmas.”

It’s one of the smaller rooms in the establishment, but it has a full-size bed and a surprisingly lovely view from the single window. Alec closes the door behind them, tossing the key on the dresser. Ellie looks around, turning in a full circle, then takes her coat off. He moves to help her, slipping it off her shoulders. He hangs it on the chair, then takes off his own, laying it atop hers.

There’s something about being alone in a room with that dress which makes the garment all the _more_ appealing to him. He feels warm all over looking at her.

“Uh.” He gestures at the small mini bar. “Drink?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve had enough.”

Then she deftly steps out of her heels and kicks them away with her foot. He shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn’t meet her eye. He feels a certain hesitance, perhaps a little bit of déjà vu. Their last two experiences in a hotel room had not ended well. When they’d decided (well, she’d decided) not to pursue a relationship, it had been here at the Trader’s. He remembers standing in the middle of the room, unable to choose a direction to move in, utterly devastated.

“You look nervous,” Ellie says finally, causing him to look at her.

“Ah. Well.” He moves his hands awkwardly out of his pockets and to his hips then clears his throat. “These sorts of…encounters have always ended with you…leavin’.”

She softens. “I know.” She goes to him, reaching up to take his face in her hands. “And I can’t tell you what this means, or if it means anything. But I do believe things will be better for us if we… _think_ a little less.” Her hands move down to his chest, palms flat. “I don’t want what’s happened in the past to get in the way of what’s happening now. Because what’s happening now is…” She smiles, bright and genuine.

He smiles back, hands going to her waist. “Yeah.”

“It’s Christmas,” she says, moving in so that she is flush against him. “So let’s give each other this, yeah?”

His arms slide around her slight figure and hold her to him as he leans down to kiss her. “Yeah.”

She grins into the next kiss, snaking her arms up around his neck and pushing up on her tip toes. They exchange soft, short, but incessant kisses until her fingers are in his hair and he’s moved to deepen them. Encouraged by her soft moan, he pulls down the zipper at the back of her dress, slowly and deliberately. She busies herself with the buttons of his shirt while he shrugs off his jacket, their lips never separating. His hands go to her breasts, feeling them through her dress, kneading them with a long, drawn-out groan that he feels in his whole body.

He kisses her throat, licking and sucking, and she holds onto his waist, dipping her head back. His lips travel to her shoulder, first grazing it, then he drags his teeth across her skin. He pushes off the sleeve of her dress, then pushes off the other. She takes a step back then and pulls the rest of the dress down herself. She’s wearing a matching red lace bra and knickers, the same – he remembers well – that she had worn when she came to his flat in Bournemouth.

“Familiar,” he says, saucily.

She blushes. “I’d bought them for _you_.”

“Oh I’d never wear a thing like that.”

She stares at him, then bursts out laughing. They step into each other’s arms again, both laughing as they kiss. She untucks his shirt and finally pushes it off him. He wraps his arms around her, kissing her softly. She still tastes faintly of vodka. He imagines he still tastes faintly like scotch. But they both seem to have sobered up quite sufficiently.

Alec is content simply to kiss her for quite some time, enjoying the softness of her lips and the ways she feels in his arms. But then she takes initiative, guiding him backward to the bed. He climbs onto it, leaning against the headboard and she crawls onto his lap, straddling him. He’s desperately hard for her, but in no rush. He’s learned to savor each second with her.

Then she starts kissing his neck, fiddling with his belt. It’s an extraordinary thing to feel so wanted by her. To feel wanted at all, but by her…

She places her palms on his chest and looks up at him. “You’ve gone quiet on me.” She almost says _gone limp_ but he _certainly_ has not done that.

“Just…enjoyin’ you.”

She smirks. “You mean letting me do all the work.”

He raises an eyebrow back at her, sliding his hands up and down her back. “You don’t for one second believe I’m goin’ to let you do all the work.”

Then she’s grinning. “No.”

He touches her face, needing to _feel_ the grin in addition to seeing it. “How are you this lovely?”

Her grin widens and her cheeks blush a bright pink. Her response is to kiss him, open-mouthed and all tongue. He’s growing harder underneath her by the second. When she pulls back to breathe, her lips are swollen and he runs a thumb across them.

“Have you thought about me?” She asks, eyes darting back and forth from his lips to his own eyes. “…Like this?”

It’s all he can do to keep from snorting at her. He brushes a few stray strands of hair out of her face and then traces the outline of her ear.

“You’ve no idea.”

“Tell me.” She plants a persuasive kiss on his lips.

He shakes his head almost imperceptibly. His other hand is caressing her thigh. “Don’t want to.”

His resistence seems to be what makes her smile in this moment. “Why?”

“ _Ellie_.” His hand drifts down over her breast, the back of his hand then stroking her nipple. “I think of you all the time. I think of you every night. Can’t get to sleep until I’ve thought of you. Can’t get up and go on with my day until I’ve thought of you.”

His heart beats faster, realizing that this confession could easily spook her. Terrify her. Part them again. But then she lurches down and kisses him, both hands holding his face, hips grinding against his.

Turns out, this time, it turns her on.

Ellie is _ravenous_ suddenly, sucking on his bottom lip, yanking down his zipper and shoving her hands into his trousers.

“Never knew I could want someone this badly,” she murmurs, starting to pull his trousers down.

He lifts his hips to help her with that, but otherwise is totally astonished. “…Me.”

“Yeah,” she breathes out between kisses.

He kicks off the trousers she has mostly yanked down. Then she’s grinning, looking down at his hard cock, reveling in the sight of it after having enjoyed the mere feel of it.

“Blimey.”

Alec goes a bit red. She begins stroking him through his briefs, slowly, lightly with only her fingertips. She hasn’t taken the time to truly appreciate him before.

“And the way you want _me_ …” She shakes her head, a smile dancing on her lips.

“Ellie…”

She tugs his briefs off carefully, freeing him from his constraints. She inhales a ragged breath of anticipation, then exhales.

“You think of me all the time,” she reiterates, partially to confirm it.

He’s barely breathing. “ _Yes_.”

“I do this to you.”

“Christ, Ellie, yes.”

She’s staring at him hungrily. This is an Ellie he could easily get used to. The desire is practically pouring out of her. He’s never felt so lusted after before.

“ _Well_ then, Detective Inspector.”

He swallows.

“Touch me.”

Ellie grabs his hand and guides it into her knickers. He sits up a little straighter. She’s on her knees, straddling his legs and bending over him, with her hand against the headboard holding her up. He strokes her gently with two fingers, slowly exploring. It’s been six months since he touched her like this. And much as he’d tried to commit her to memory, there’s nothing quite like the real thing.

“Oh, fuck,” Ellie gasps, dropping her head and moving against his hand.

The sight of her is incredibly arousing, and coupled with the _feel_ of her, he’s afraid he won’t even need her to touch him to come. But then she does. As he finds her clit, she begins to stroke his cock, slow, gentle movements in time with the undulating of her own hips. At this point, he can barely hear her little whimpering noises over his own. Her thumb passes over his wet tip and he bucks his hips into her so hard and so suddenly that she jerks backward, and he has to sit forward to keep his fingers inside her. She seems delighted, it conjures a cunning smile. She sits up higher on her knees, giving him better access, and moves to curl her hand around his cock. He’s close enough now to kiss her, so he reaches for her with his free hand and pulls her to him. She tries to kiss him back mid-gasp and it’s so hot he has to stop her hand to keep from coming right there.

“Ellie,” he whispers against her lips, slowing but not stopping his fingers inside her. “Want to make you come. But I – “

“I know.” She kisses him softly, enticingly. “You want to be inside me.”

Ellie removes her hand and moves over him on all four, pushing him back down on the bed and hovering above him as he fucks her with his fingers. Her breasts, nearly spilling out of her red lace bra, are right at eye level.

He throws his head back against the pillow. “Jesus. I can’t --- god, if you could see yourself.”

She bites her lip, then grins. “I wouldn’t be as turned on as you are.”

Then there’s a sharp intake of breath and Alec can feel her getting close.

“Fuck. _Fuck_.” There’s a long succession of _oh god_ s and then he finishes her off, coaxing her through each wave of her orgasm until she lowers herself on top of him in a heap. “ _Oh_. Oh wow.”

He circles his arms around her, holding her as she recovers. After a few moments, she starts planting kisses on his chest, coming back to life. She licks his nipple and he groans. Then she moves up to kiss his lips, sliding over him. As he kisses her, he reaches out to unclasp her bra and she easily shrugs out of the straps with little movement. Then she sits up, bare breasted, the garment resting atop his chest.

“Magic,” he marvels.

“ _Age_ ,” she amends.

Then she pushes it off him and lies atop him again, resuming their kiss. He barely registers her doing it, but shortly thereafter she’s deftly divested herself of her knickers as well. With a sudden surge of energy, he flips them over mid-kiss, his hardness throbbing between her legs. He props himself up so he can look down at her.

“All right?”

“ _Spectacularly_ all right.”

Quite pleased with her response, he dips his head and kisses her breast before closing his mouth around it. His hips grind into her, cock teasing her entrance, as he sucks on her nipple. She tugs at his hair, nails scratching his skull.

“Mmm…”

“Mm,” he murmurs back, then moves to suck on her other breast, giving them equal attention.

Then as she arches into him, he pushes inside her without warning, and she cries out. His moan nearly drowns her out.

“Ellie…” He whispers as he kisses his way back up to her lips.

She has a hand at his cheek, scratching his beard as she kisses him with soft, eager, swollen lips. He props himself up with one arm and with the other grabs onto her thigh, beginning to move at a deliberate pace inside her.

“Oh…” She exhales.

“Mm-hmm,” he mumbles back between kisses.

He feels impossibly good inside her, unbelievably right. He may be a little bit biased at this point, but he’s convinced their bodies were made to complement each other. Each time, he’s surprised at how much _himself_ he feels when they come together this way.

His hand travels back and forth from her thigh to her arse, squeezing and kneading. His face is buried in her neck now, sucking a mark into her burning skin. Her nails are digging into his upper back and he’s never been more in love with pain. Her little unconscious noises drive him wild, make him suck harder, thrust faster. She brings her other leg up around his hip and he gasps into her skin as he goes deeper.

Alec is fully carried away by her, living inside her, he’d be perfectly happy if his own body melted into hers. With each thrust he feels a surge of something akin to amazement and elation.

He’s sucking on her collarbone, thrusting at a steady rhythm when almost involuntarily he whispers, “God, I love you.”

The second he hears it comes out of his mouth, the terror sets in. His thrusting slows. He painstakingly raises his head to see her face. He cannot for the life of him decipher her expression.

Then she bites her lip before saying, “That is so hot.” And she flips them over so that she’s on top.

He has to catch his breath to stay with her. Suddenly she’s riding him so hard he has to grip her hips to steady her. Six months ago, an unexpected admission of love would have sent her running for the hills. Now it turns her on.

…He’ll take it.

She slows her movements at his guidance and leans down to kiss him, hair falling over her face. Relishing the intimacy of the kiss, he holds her where she is, a hand at the back of her neck. Then she’s moving a little faster again, breathing a little heavier.

“Oh god.” She drops her head to his chest briefly, then sits up again. “You feel so fucking good.”

His hands move to her breasts and she leans into them. He pinches both nipples at the same time.

“Fuck fuck fuck.”

Alec is _very_ much enjoying how much enjoyment _she’s_ getting out of this. She’s leading in a way she never has before, and letting herself openly experience her pleasure. She’s not hiding, not in any way.

“What do you need?” He asks her, palm dragging across her damp chest.

She grabs his hand and brings it to her clit. He likes it when she’s unequivocal. As he rubs it, she starts writhing madly, gasping for breath. When she comes it’s _loudly_ , and he feels a sense of pride when he thinks about the guests on the other side of the hotel room wall. Her cries make _him_ come, almost as loudly in fact. He cries out her name, and when she’s through, she inhales then says, “ _Fuck_ , Hardy.”

That’s not the name he wanted. But he’s gotten so much else, he can only be grateful.

Ellie lifts herself up then falls back onto the mattress, head hanging off the edge as she struggles to catch her breath.

“My god.” She breathes in and out for a moment, then she laughs. “I swear if I’d known it would be this good between us I’d have left Joe the moment I met you.”

Mildly startled, he sits up, then moves to lay beside her at the opposite end of the bed. She looks at bit startled herself, equal parts amused and sad. And though he’s not sure how to respond, he knows that the fact that she’s making _jokes_ about Joe means she’s progressed in her healing process.

He drapes his arm over her middle and starts kissing her shoulder, her chest. He feels such a wild combination of exhaustion and relief, arousal and need. He tangles their legs together, and she reciprocates, running her foot up and down his calf. She turns her head and seems to just be taking him in, his expression, his desire for her. He places his palm flat on her chest then slides it down between her breasts, feeling the rise and fall of it.

Alec has never before gotten the chance to experience any kind of afterglow, as it were, with her. She’s always run off. But she seems quite settled now, relaxed, held to the mattress by something he hopes is as strong as what holds _him_.

He begins playing with her breasts, tracing them, feeling them, kneading them. Because he can. Because he can’t help it. Then he moves over her, settling between her legs and taking a nipple into his mouth. Her hands are at his back, lightly caressing his spine. She writhes just the tiniest bit beneath him, just enough to let him know she’s enjoying it. It feels wildly intimate, just lying between her legs, lazily mouthing at her breasts. Her breathing slows and it’s unclear to him whether he’s turning her on or putting her to sleep. Although, he supposes, either one feels like a win in this case.

“Ellie,” he whispers into her skin.

“Mm.”

“Are you, um – “ _With me_ , is what he tries to say.

Somehow she knows. “Mm-hmm,” she hums. “Just…feel good.”

Well, that’s all the encouragement he needs to make her feel even _better_. He kisses his way down her body, spending time near her belly button, then spreads her thighs and kisses the inside of one. He sucks and licks at it until she bends her knees, feet flat on the mattress, and he knows she wants what he’s offering.

He growls unintelligibly before burying his face between her legs and takes his time just licking at her. Every exhalation from her is an “ _oh…_ ” as if the sensation is new to her, though he knows – from experience – that it most certainly is not. He reaches for her hands as he slips his tongue inside. Interweaving their fingers and allowing her to squeeze his firmly with each sharp intake of breath. Not only does it feed his hunger for intimacy with her, but it helps him to know when he’s getting it right. This is only the second time she’s let him do this to her.

Alec devotes every ounce of energy he has into pleasing her, as if he can somehow make her _stay_ with the correct flick of his tongue. All of his passion and enthusiasm for her guides him and he won’t leave her alone until she’s screaming.

Ellie is squeezing his hands, arching her back, and whimpering desperately. This only makes him work harder. He squeezes her hands back right before he pushes her over the edge. She cries out, head dropping off the mattress, hips bucking into him, and she _keeps_ crying out until he finally releases her, pulling back and kissing her thighs. He feels an _immense_ sense of pride as he kisses his way down her leg to her ankle, planting a kiss on her foot before crawling up next to her. She scoots down so her head is laying on the bed again and she’s grinning at him, totally flushed.

“Dunno what I did to deserve that,” she says with a short laugh.

“Dunno what _I_ did to deserve that,” he replies, kissing her lips.

She turns to face him, lying on her side. “You are very, _very_ good at that.”

“And you are quite the inspiration, lass.” He says the word knowing it’ll melt her and it does.

She touches his cheek and kisses him softly. “Can’t remember the last time I felt this good.”

“You do seem…” He trails his fingertips up and down her arm. “…More at ease. Tonight, I mean. You seemed…”

“Like I’m on medication?” She laughs.

His eyebrows narrow with concern. “Are you?”

“Yes,” she replies. “Low dose. Just enough to keep my head above water from day to day. But this is much better than drugs. You.”

He strokes her neck and throat with the back of his hand. “…Yeah? D’you think you might…”

She sighs, but then smiles. “I…am doing much better, it’s true. Slowly starting to feel like myself again, only new. If that makes sense. Starting to feel _comfortable_. With whatever I am now. Though I’m still sort of…figuring out who that is.”

He nods as if he understands, but he only half does. But half is better than none. He props himself up a bit. “Ellie, I don’t have any expectations of you. I mean that. The only thing I want is for us to try.”

“Try.” She nods slowly, contemplatively.

“Try…whatever, try anythin’. However we want to make it work, it doesn’t matter,” he tells her. “I just want to try with you.”

“…All right.” She says it so softly he barely believes he’s heard it.

“All right?”

She sits up. “I’m going to get dressed. Don’t be insulted, I just need to get home before Fred wakes up and wakes up Dad. Otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it.”

He nods and watches her get out of bed, disappointed but not despairing.

“I think we can try,” Ellie says, pulling on her knickers. “I don’t…know what it will look like. Our kids must always come first. And our…well, our mental health, frankly. And we’ve got our jobs, and we’re in different towns…but I think…” She looks for her bra, then puts that on. “We get on as partners, we get on as…friends. We clearly get on in the bedroom. And I think that’s incredibly rare. To both trust someone and be electrified by them.”

He sits up, pulling the sheet over his lap. “Are you…electrified?”

She smiles and she’s blushing. “Isn’t it obvious. You’re a detective, aren’t you.” She pulls on her dress.

“Not as good as you, apparently.”

Ellie smirks. “Tell that to Jenkinson.”

He swings his feet over the edge of the bed and pulls on his briefs. “So, we’ll um…”

She zips up the back of her dress and walks over to him. “We’ll see each other. We’ll see what works. And take it slow.”

Alec stands. “All right.” He places his hands at her waist. “All right then.”

“I’d better go,” she says sheepishly.

He pulls her to him and kisses her, long and slow.

Then she says, “Do you want to see Fred?”

He blinks. Now? In general? Either way, “…Yeah.” He smiles, despites himself.

“I’ll bring him by after we drop Tom off at football practice,” she says. “Then you can be on your way back to Bournemouth.”

He nods, trying not to smile too widely. “Good then.”

Ellie breaks out of his embrace and finds her coat and her purse. She stands by the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

He’s never loved the words more.

“See you soon.”

He sits back down on the bed, exhaling all the anxiety he’s been harboring for the last…well, he has absolutely no idea _how_ long. He feels tears pricking at his eyes and has no idea what to do with that. Then he hears his mobile buzz. When he picks it up, there’s a text from her.

All it says is, **Xx.**

He may actually sleep well tonight.

***


End file.
